Gone Away
by Kyouji
Summary: Angsty shonen ai songfic, featuring the Masho. ^^; Teensy bit o' spoiler, but only if you haven't seen some of the last episodes, and even then, I think everyone knows about this one event. But you can never be too careful!


Gone Away  
By [Kyouji][1]  


  
  
[_Maybe in another life   
I could find you there_]   
  
Slow steps resounded in the crisp night air. Dual moons filtered their light down onto the solitary figure, the fog rising from the lake giving the scene an ethereal quality. His body was weaker than it should have been, a little thinner than was normal. It had only been a few months since Arago's ultimate end, and they were free. A bitter laugh broke the eerie silence. _Free? More like aimless._   
  
[_Pulled away before your time   
I can't deal; it's so unfair_]   
  
He stopped at the water's edge, peering out over the glassy surface. He was afraid to close his eyes now, afraid the vivid picture would return to his mind's eye.   
  
[_And it feels...   
And it feels like   
Heaven's so far away_]   
  
The image came of its own volition, despite his efforts to hold it back. A tiny trickle of saline slipped from the corner of one eye. There, face-down, unmoving, floating in the lake. Sodden navy robes flowed around him, coppery tendrils rippling with the water. After a time, a stream of red began to appear, feathering through the clear liquid. He stumbled into the lake, staggering toward the floating apparition. Then his logic returned to him, with the bitter truth. He was hallucinating. He wouldn't get a second chance to save him.   
  
[_And it feels...   
Yeah, it feels like   
The world has grown cold   
Now that you've gone away_]   
  
He sank to his knees, water lapping at his sides. He wrapped lean arms around himself as he shivered, though not from the chill. Thorns pricked his arm through the thin material of his shirt, dug ruthlessly into his palm. It didn't matter. A droplet of blood marred the surface of the lake, matching the deep red of the roses he held.   
  
[_Leaving flowers on your grave   
Show that I still care_]   
  
He clenched his fist around the stems of his roses, unsure what he was supposed to do with them. It seemed an empty gesture to offer gifts to someone who'd never receive them, to someone who hadn't given much care to possessions even in life.   
  
[_Black roses and 'Hail Marys'   
Can't bring back what's taken from me_]   
  
It was all so disgustingly futile. In a sudden fit of rage, he ripped the heads off the flowers, his grip on the stalks involuntarily tightening. Blood streamed in tiny rivulets down his palm, his wrist, while deep scarlet petals dropped almost serenely to the lake's surface, uncaring of the fate of their tormentor. He flung the stems aside, a tiny spray of crimson resulting in the maltreatment of that ragged hand. What did it matter? There was no reason that he should care now. The truth was, _nothing_ mattered any more.   
He caught himself on his hands as he fell forward. Pain. He was rarely aware of anything else, these days. _Why did you have to go?_ Tears oozed from his eyes, stung his marred hand as he raised it to wipe them away.   
The man flung his head back and howled his anguish to the heavens.   
  
[_I reach to the sky_]   
  
After some time, he became choked with his sobs. Broken-voiced, he stared dazedly up into the cloudless night, his lips forming the syllables of his lover's name over and over. The two moons stared back uncaringly.   
  
[_And call out your name_]   
  
Why couldn't it have been him? His angel hadn't deserved this. He would have gladly taken his place.   
  
[_And if I could trade   
I would_]   
  
_Gods, it hurts, love. Everything hurts. Why did you do it? Why did you leave me?_   
  
[_And it feels...   
And it feels like   
Heaven's so far away_]   
  
He buried his face in his hands and sobbed. There was nothing else he could do. Nothing was worth it any more.   
  
[_And it stings...   
Yeah, it stings now   
The world is so cold   
Now that you've gone away_]   
  
Lost. Drifting. _Hopeless._ He stumbled back to his rooms somehow, and collapsed in his bed, not bothering to remove his clothing. Anubisu lay there a long time, staring dully at his ceiling, with no more tears left to weep. There was a hollow desperation as only one who's lost everything can know.   
  
[_...Heaven's so far away..._]   
  
Song by the Offspring 

   [1]: mailto:TsukiakariTatsu@aol.com



End file.
